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02 March 2011 @ 12:50 am
To the point of no return.  
Three weeks ago, I was a nurse. Two days ago, I became a graphic design student.

At the beginning of February I was supposed to start my graduate nurse program after many years of painstaking study. As the commencement date of the program drew closer, I got less and less sleep. Anxiety kept me awake. It wasn't until a few days before I was meant to start that I literally woke up and realized "Hey, I don't want to do this anymore." I realized that: 1) I didn't have the passion for nursing anymore; 2) I didn't want to wake up dreading going to work every day; and 3) I didn't want my heart to break every time I had to say goodbye to a patient. I thought I was strong enough for that, but it turns out I'm still just human and fragile. That's when I decided to quit. I pulled out of the program and didn't look back.

I spent days crying. I came up with a list of things in my head that I'd miss about the job. And then came the big question: What next?. I thought about what I was good at, what I'm passionate about. I thought about the things I wanted to achieve in my life.

In my lifetime I know that: 1) I will eventually be the owner of a very unique and successful patisserie; and 2) When I have kids, I would like to be running a small business. I thought about these things. Something inside me didn't feel right about becoming a patisserie chef right now. But then I turned my thoughts to the other small business. Initially when I had the thought of starting a business, I figured it would be a small craft business. Perhaps plushies, jewellery, and small handcrafted goods. But then my mind went to design. It seemed to make sense. I loved image manipulation and web design growing up. Why did I never think of doing it as a career? Why not take a leap?

So that's where I am today. I've enrolled myself into graphic design and advertising. For the first time in a very long time, I feel light and unburdened whilst thinking about my future career path. I feel like I'm finally getting to express who I really am, not having to live up to anyone else's expectations.

This feels good. Can't wait to see what the future holds.
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Hillsong - Healer
alkfhalsidjalssan on March 2nd, 2011 04:16 am (UTC)
Ooooooh! :O (we can exchange client stories XD)

Good luck with that hun!! I'm sure you'll kick ass. :) ♥
(Anonymous) on March 8th, 2011 10:51 pm (UTC)
Lol, we totally can! Whereabouts are you working at the moment?
Rinoa Heartillymiss_rinoa on March 8th, 2011 10:52 pm (UTC)
Sorry, that was me ;p
alkfhalsidjalssan on March 8th, 2011 11:51 pm (UTC)
Haha I know! :D
LOL I'm working at the family shop at the moment (printing and design), so nothing fancy. XD
--firo--toriaezu on March 2nd, 2011 09:23 am (UTC)
Rinoa Heartillymiss_rinoa on March 8th, 2011 10:53 pm (UTC)
Lol, when are you free to go shopping? Lynn reckons the Saturday of the 19th.
Rissa: C.C. // Seductionrinoa_heartilly on March 3rd, 2011 01:48 am (UTC)
Good luck! I actually just graduated from nursing school in December and currently work as a Dialysis Nurse. It's rewarding, but can be quite stressful.

And, I'm having a brain fart. We're friended, but I can't quite put my finger on who you are. >.< Did you previously go by a different name on LJ? I used to be azelia.
Rinoa Heartillymiss_rinoa on March 8th, 2011 10:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks :) On the most part, I did enjoy nursing when I was doing it. I just couldn't see myself doing it for life. Anyway, good luck with yours =)

Lol, I've been under this username for a while. I think maybe we met on a messageboard? I do remember you as azelia though. Love the new name ;)
Rissa: Don't Make Me Bluerinoa_heartilly on March 9th, 2011 12:41 am (UTC)
Thanks! :D

I think that may be it. I used to post on a lot of message boards. xD Glad you remember me though. xD At least I don't have to feel retarded for asking.